1. "Mom, that blue cup of pop you left in your room just fell over onto the floor." ??? How does a cup fall off the back of the desk when it is two inches from the edge unless someone knocks it over?
2. Getting home, having an urgent need to visit the necessary facilities, and discovering that the water level is low before sitting down. Flush quick (luckily before using said facility), and HOLY FUCK THE FUCKING TOILET IS HOLY SHIT OVERFUCKINGFLOWING!!!!! OMG THE PLUNGER ISN'T WORKING!!!!! BRING ME THE TOWELS!!!! NOT THE FUCKING PAPER TOWELS?!?!?!? THE BASKET!!!!! OH SHITTTTT!!!!! I'M NOT SWEARING AT YOU, I'M SWEARING AT THE FUCKING TOILET!!!!!!!
Yes, it stopped. Yes, I used half of the clean towels I just washed, but hadn't yet folded. They are now back in the wash, and I spent the next 30 minutes cleaning up the bathroom, including disinfecting EVERYTHING, while still having that urgent need.
I wish to GOD I had some margaritas right here, right now.
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