I am an idiot. I am just going to come out and say it.
I tend to avoid that which makes me sad, even if it is sympathy to another person. Part of it is a self-defense mechanism born out of dealing with traumatic events in the past. I shut down, because I don't know what to say. It's a character flaw that I can't seem to overcome. I'm working on it. But I'm still an idiot.
If I have hurt anyone with this inability to (see, I can't even get this right) say the right thing at the right time, or in fact say anything at all, I am more sorry than I can express in words. I want to be able to do this. I am trying to do this.
I just feel like I have let down people I care about.